His Song

There's that song you played
I thought I knew
You
Humming
Singing

Or something

It woke me up
With this smile - it seemed
Inside

Not noticing the heartache
You have
I gave
To you

And now come my "sorry's"
My own inside outside - looking in
And I am sorry

To you
For you
For us

For the loss of all of the
What-might-have-beens

I have done the "done is done"
To you
And all of us

And here is my sorrow

I watched your soft hands play
The next morning

Not knowing
It was a song meant to expel me

To lose me

To vent me out

I didn't know
I am sorry
I interrupted

Your rhythm
Your rhyme
My expulsion

And for some reason today

I loved you a lot
Deeply
Warmly
Sincerely

And I didn't know

I was already gone
Becoming a faded "who was that"
In your minds eye
In your heart

I wish I could write it off as
Me
Stupid

But
I can't

It's just me - like you said
Who I am
Nothing good
Empty liar

I wish for good

I was warm today I thought
Couldn't seem to get close enough
To you
Touch you enough
As if my hands are invisible now

Stingers
Nothing

And you're never my good poetry
My sweet things
Which
I never write anyway
It seems

But - today you are
Were
Are

It felt so free to be with you today
So... much like
Home
A homeness

Now a homeless emptiness
That I guess I wasn't truly
Prepared for

But deserved all the same

Poor me

I'll cry myself a river later
Today I'll drown in the lake
Of our today

It was nice
Floating
With the sun
And breeze

I don't mind drowning
In that small memory

Maybe it will create more
Like air bubbles escaping
In my last breath of it

More little ones will surface
Just in time
For me to realize I have
Done it

Done is done
I've drown in it
Completely

Until there is nothing
Left to breathe

I close my eyes
And kiss that soft warm spot
On the back of your neck

And quietly
Drift...

I love you.