Safe in you...

[yes, I realize this is... very unedited... needs some work...but...]




Like the wind you caressed me with your hug
Surrounding me safely as if I were a nest in a bough

And I can only truly show you my faith in you
With these words
With my poems
I can expose myself so much easier here
Among these beautiful letters and lesser used punctuations
In our world of spoken words
I can only hide
Afraid of what you might hear
Of what you might think
That you would think me foolish
For my words

But here
I am safe
Like I feel in your arms
Like I feel as your soft hand moves slowly down my cheek
Like I feel lost in a kiss as you hold me like the wind

inside
outside
i am invisible to you
most of the time

i get small pieces of you
and am expected
to bow grateful
for my small crumbs

like it
or get nothing -
how about that
stupid little girl

i feel so tiny
unimportant
until you are flesh
in front of me
then it all changes

i live confused
to the clash
of when you're gone
and i become invisible
again

so different
so very different

there are things
you could show me
but you wont
cant be weak
no
never cry
never feel
never
be real

i feel alone
in this

do you care?

lyrics by: Ben Harper, "Gold To Me"

you look like gold to me
and i'm not too blind to see
you look like gold

you make me wanna sing
with all the joy you bring
you look like gold

like the rays down from the sun
when a new day has just begun
you look like gold

i've been fooled before
but now i know
i've made the mistake in the past
but now i know the difference
from gold and brass

not the kind of gold you wear
but the kind that can feel my care
you look like gold

some shine when the day is new
but fade when the day is through
but you look like gold

i've been wrong before
but now i know
i've made mistakes in the past
but now i know the difference
from gold and brass

you look like gold to me
and i'm down on bending knees
you look like gold
and i just want you to know
to me you mean so much more
than all the gold
you look like gold

I can almost imagine
your soft hand in mine
as we dare to face those obstacles
we created for ourselves
--- with our fears
----- self-imposed walls

I can almost imagine
listening to your voice
as you confess your life
exposing too much of yourself
--- leaving you vunerable
----- and raw

I can almost imagine
drying your tears
as you hurt and fight
--- against the life you've learned
----- and now must abandon to be free

I can almost imagine
you and I
--- are one
----- same voice, same heart

same imaginings of new beginnings

there's always that one thing
that little something
- that isn't so little
it makes me
not quite right
not quite acceptable
not quite correct
Who I am
who I want to be
never the same thing

Introspection
leads to
self-destruction

Repairs and restorations
of the broken parts of me

And I lean against nothing
freefall into shambles
can't catch myself

falling
cut and bleeding inside

wishing I were someone else
something else

something delicate
and beautiful
something worth tending

the reality burns
at the corners of my eyes
reminding me why I am alone
why I am who I am

I cry I bleed
I feel I need
I see I know
I cry to be a different me

golden-haired
with those bright bright eyes
i wonder what you would do to me
if there would be pain and lies
i wonder if your lips would taste
as good as i dreamed
i wonder if life would be right
as simple
as clean
your mind keeps me spinning
day after day
and every day that passes
i swear i won't call you
then i have to just say "hey"

who are you
to even affect me
why do i let it go
why don't i just stop it
before we've dug a hole
for eachother

...