Any regrets?

Will there be a day
when you think of me
and wish you could
hear my voice
feel my hand in yours
just one more kiss
a small caress
the smell of my skin

Will there be a day
when you forget
the blue of my eyes
my freckles
my smile
the sound of my laughter

Will there be a day
where you regret
ever letting me go... ?

While You Sleep

While you sleep
there are those dreams
you only allow in slumber
the faeries of fantasy
whispering to your needs

And I know
it is my voice
the last thing
you hear
as you drift
into
that quiet safe place

Echoes of Morpheus
humming you
into another lifetime
a place
I could never be

There is only
my gentle promise
to remind you
you are valuable
you are loved
you are to have peace

drunken confessions

that night
it was raining
so hard
i kept asking
you
to repeat yourself
out of disbelief
confusion
the rain
so loud
so resonant
wanting it to block
out your words
wash them
away
pounding in my head
in beat
to what you were saying
imagining
it was only the sound
of the rain
knowing it was
your voice
drunk
but honest
harsh
lightening
smashing
bringing the hairs
up on my skin
electric
vibrating
in echoes
with your truths
while the rain
washes it all down
like the bitter pill
stuck in the back
of my throat
choking my realities
cutting off my air
blinding me
blind-siding me
flooding me
drowning me
watering it all down

with liquored shots
of your truth

Advice from Chapter 43

You say
write it all down
make a book
people want to know
those truths
pains
blood lines
flowing from one page
to the next
I fear them knowing
seeing too far
into me
exposing those soft
weak spots
I have hidden so well
knowing what I have lost
how I have bled
Knowing those secret
places
I have hidden
too many times
in my lifetime
waiting
for it to be safe
to come out again
I can't stand rejection
like most writers
it reminds me
of my lifetime
of failures
my losses
the never-ending
subject
which follows
chapter to chapter
of my entire
written existence

Do people really care
would they really
want
to get lost
in the pages of my life?

Poison Rain

We talked for hours
and
you didn't consider me
when
the venom came
like a rain
beating a tempo
upon my heart
poisoning
what I felt was good
strong
those things that
would come about
in time
never existed
you laughed
out loud
at your own ignorance
bliss
for you
as it seeped
through
my veins
twisting and stabbing
the whole way
I try to smile
to laugh
to cry
to put the razor down
the urge
to cut out that pain
remove it
somehow
from myself
it never goes away

"in time"
you say
as if you know
anything
nothing
of what you've done
to me
for me
in spite of me

those words
like harsh angry rain
sheeting down
sideways
into my eyes
blurring my vision
my ideas
my hopes
stinging with each
word
you flung at me
like the arrows we shot
at the festival
haphazard
wild
but still
hitting the mark

why...?

salty memories
upon my cheeks
why can't i ever be
the one he wants
the one he needs
why is there no "begin"
only words filled with
"let's just be friends"

am i not good enough
loud enough
strong enough
smart enough

why can't my feelings
ever be returned
why do i end up
feeling burned
by the lack of love
from someone else
what is it
i need to tell myself

to get through one more day
feeling so damn alone
one more hour
when there is no one
to share my dreams
live my laughs
see sights unseen
fly on wings
souls flight
talking and love-making
into the night
small kisses
and eyes to fall into
warmth to share
smiles that melt into wishes

where
why
can't there be at least
one small beginning
before the ending?

don't let it slip away

myself unfolded
into something free and new
what once was fear
now is proof
that i can live
with something akin to bliss
feel it all
within your kiss
never feeling a
judgment from you
accepting me as i am
really feeling the space
between us
as we travel along
on this road of fun
and i don't want it to end
i want to know this feeling
for a while
enjoy it as we go along
where it really feels
i finally belong